Our old friend Merriam Webster — or some guy named Google, depending upon your age — defines the term as the unrelieved weight of an inert mass, such as a heavy load that does not contribute to the performance or function of a system.
While our first impression may be that of a particular co-worker or family member, I believe that I’ve discovered the actual origin of the phrase: whitetail deer.
These animals are the most abundant and most popular big game animal in North America. They are also the most widespread and frequently harvested member of the Cervidae family. Yes, in this case, harvested is a somewhat gentler descriptive term for “killed.” Despite wording preferences, what you end up with is dead weight.
During my earliest days as a game protector, now termed a wildlife officer, there were far fewer deer roaming Ohio’s wilds. Back in 1973, the entire state’s population was guesstimated at less than 50,000 animals, and it wasn’t until 1979 that deer were even allowed to be gun-hunted in every county. The animal was popular with hunters and wildlife watchers alike, and the Division of Wildlife’s biologists were working on a controlled increase of the population.
Poachers had also taken a shine — or should I say “shining” — to deer, causing even road-hit deer to sometimes become suspicious. It was this idea that had the division’s officers competing with local vultures to inspect the carcass.
This chore included ensuring the animal was hit by a vehicle, certificating the carcass to the unlucky driver or loading up the animal onto our own vehicles for disposal. Hoisting dead deer solo into a pick-up truck or onto a board extending from the Reese hitch taught me the science of the term “dead weight,” the value of Doan’s Pills and new descriptive adjectives best muttered quietly under my breath.
The science
The increasing number of successful hunters taking these deer were also learning about the animals’ dead weight and the algebraic formula to ascertain its true measurement. That methodology goes like this: MOD X DTV X RFp48 X AoT X DwDR + (2X) HaS X HtL – (0.5) FH X HtFL = (SWAG). These calculations are sometimes erroneously referred to as dead reckoning.
In true analytical form, each value is: MOD = mass of deer; DTV = distance to vehicle; RFp48 = rainfall in past 48 hours; AoT = angle of terrain; DwDR = distance to retrieve forgotten drag rope; HaS = hours after sunset; FH = friend’s help; HtFL = height of final lift for loading. Figure all this out and you have the (SWAG) = a scientific wild a — guess.
This explains the many guesstimated 450-pound bucks and 350-pound antlerless deer killed each year that somehow shrink between the loading point and the butcher’s block. It also results in many dead tired hunters also being described as dead weight once they find the sofa.
Heavyweights
But really, how big are whitetails? Let’s take a look at three of the real heavyweights. The bulkiest whitetail on record was killed in Minnesota by Carl Lenader in 1926. It weighed 511 pounds and dressed out at a whopping 402 pounds. The next big buck, according to Deer & Deer Hunting Magazine, was bagged in 1977. It was taken by John Arnett in Ontario, Canada. It allegedly field dressed at 431 pounds as weighed on a government scale and was guessed to have a live weight of 540 pounds. It appears that the buck was butchered before official examination (refer to above formula).
Then there is the Hinkley Buck of Maine taken in 1955, one of the largest deer ever taken. It also happens to be the most well-documented whitetail giant (documentation is known to supersede the described equation).
Hunter Horace Hinkley’s historical hunting story was published in the Northwoods Sporting Journal, “Once this great buck was hoisted up in front of several witnesses, including state sealer of weights, Forrest Brown, the giant deer pulled the scales to a whopping 355 pounds. It was calculated that Hinckley’s buck had an approximate live weight of 488 pounds.
Several measurements were then taken which included: neck girth, 28 inches; body girth behind forelegs, 47 inches; greatest girth, 56 inches and a total length from antler tip to rear hoof of 9 1/2 feet. In game warden’s technical terms, that’s a honker of a deer.
My guess is that Horace and his friends’ calculations following the animal’s retrieval were in the neighborhood of a monstrous 1,200 pound (SWAG) — a number that shriveled considerably when those computations were tested at the scale, but it’s still a honker of a deer.
Measuring tape method. Is there a way to measure deer without resorting to that debatable algebra prior to arriving at a de-lying scale? Yes, there is. The only thing you’ll need is a seamstress’s measuring tape.
This information was collected by the Pennsylvania State University Department of Dairy and Animal Science and the Pennsylvania Game Commission to solve the age-old question of “how much does my deer weigh?”
To accomplish the task, lay the deer on its side and measure the girth just behind the front legs. See the chart for a sampling of their calculations; I’ll skip the tiny ones because nobody brags about those anyway.
A quick check online found, not surprisingly, dedicated measuring devices just for whitetail deer. One such item available at Farm and Ranch Depot (farmandranchdepot.com) is called “Uncle Jack’s Trophy Deer Weight Estimation Tape.” It estimates live and dressed weight as well as the amount of edible meat to expect, handling live weights up to 380 pounds.
I still like to call these “best guesstimates.” If you want to know a deer’s weight with certainty or think you have a new heavyweight champion, you’re going to need a certified scale and reliable witnesses. That’s where your professional butcher comes in handy.
What’s noteworthy in Pennsylvania’s calculations is their edible meat estimations. It averages approximately 40 to 45%. Experience tells me that seems a little heavy.
Gun and arrow wounds can damage a lot of meat and inexperienced or haphazard butchering can also cost the final poundage. I’ve always felt that the tally of meat in the freezer will be closer to a third of the deer’s live weight. All bets are off if you start smoking cuts or processing jerky (two of my very favorite types of venison).
So, next time you’re dragging that dead weight of uncut venison from the back 40, remember to give thanks. Thanks for your health, the opportunity to be able to choose to hunt, for entering a world where you become part of an ancient history of hunting and gathering, for the satisfaction and the solace and especially for that buddy with a four-wheeler.
“Accuracy is twin brother to honesty, and inaccuracy to dishonesty.”
– Nathaniel Hawthorne
Measuring your whitetail deer
Measuring-tape method for determining the weight of a whitetail deer as presented by the Pennsylvania State University Department of Dairy and Animal Science and the Pennsylvania Game Commission.
Girth: 30” LW – 90 DW – 70 EM – 39
Grith: 33” LW – 110 DW – 87 EM – 50
Girth: 35” LW – 126 DW – 99 EM – 57
Girth: 38” LW – 157 DW – 126 EM – 71
Girth: 39” LW – 169 DW – 135 EM – 74
Girth: 40” LW – 182 DW – 144 EM – 80
Girth: 41” LW – 195 DW – 156 EM – 88
Girth: 42” LW – 210 DW – 170 EM – 94
Girth: 43” LW – 228 DW – 182 EM – 103
Grith: 44” LW – 244 DW – 198 EM – 110
Girth: 45” LW – 267 DW – 214 EM – 120
Girth: 46” LW – 290 DW – 233 EM – 130
Girth: 47” LW – 310 DW – 251 EM – 139
Grith: 48” LW – 340 DW – 272 EM – 153
* Key: LW = Live Weight DW = Dressed Weight EM = Edible Meat
