While walking down the hardware aisle at Goodwill Industries,
I was looking for a twelve-foot chain to pull out willow trees.
But instead of chains I turned and standing there was my friend, Hank.
Hank’s life was always up and down — I’d say from what he drank.
His given name was Henry but he went by Hank for short.
He was known throughout the valley as a kind but troubled sort.
Hank’s desperate eyes lit up when I reached out and shook his hand.
His voice was rambling such that I could barely understand.
He was shaking in his shoes and then he said, “I need a cook.
I made a promise to the gals. Can you get me off the hook?”
“The Women’s Farm Society has planned their yearly feast.
I couldn’t boil hot water, let alone use baker’s yeast.”
He was absolutely pitiful, and panic filled his eyes.
That’s when my mind reflected how about those turkey fries?
“Hank,” I said, “I’ll be your cook ‘cuz it’s your lucky day.
We’ll give those farm folks turkey fries, a meal the homemade way.”
“Let’s feed ‘em mashed potatoes with some peppered sauce on top.
And a slice of turkey breast with all the veggies from their crop.”
“Last of all warm apple pie, and make it a la mode.
The folks will be so doggone full they’ll think they might explode.”
Hank was chomping at the bit but questioned, “Turkey Fries?”
I said, “They’re made of turkey. When you see, you’ll recognize.”
We readied for the banquet, every hour a steady pace.
So, we started with the turkey fries and served them after grace.
The guests ate mashed potatoes with a slice of turkey breast.
But the turkey fries were disappearing faster than the rest.
I heard one farmer chuckle. Said, “I’ve ate those things before.”
But he didn’t say another word. Most farmers knew for sure.
The turkey fries were by and large the favorite of the night.
The gals were gobbling down the fries with not an end in sight.
One farmer’s wife declared she’d like to have the recipe,
and how to cook a turkey fry. She’d even pay a fee.
So, I told the woman what they were. You should have seen her eyes.
When I said, “They’re turkey testicles just nicknamed turkey fries.”
