I realize this is all my fault. When we chose, nearly three decades ago — gasp — to raise our family in an old home, I knew we were going against the split level, brand-new, beige-box grain. No offense intended to people who LOVE new construction. It has a place … just not mine.
Restoration of a home like this is an act of love and respect of the craftsmanship and history. You do it because you want to live in it for decades, not to flip it. Now GirlWonder is house hunting and she suffers from the same malady as that of her mother. She only feels at “home” in historic houses. Pocket doors are her weakness. Tiger oak baseboards? Yes, please. Ancient plumbing? Sure, why not?
This is what happens when you raise a child in a cool old house. I love our house. That is not a secret. That house is the crux of my early career and part of the family. Now that she is married and on the hunt for her own home it is fascinating to see what moves her — and what doesn’t.
Again, I blame myself for this. Mr. Wonderful has said that I can see “two sticks and a brick” and be seized with the desire to renovate the whole pile. “Little attacks of charm” as we call them. I love old structures. Show me a 150-year-old house and I’m going to be all over it. Practically weak with love and adoration. Let daylight come through the gaping holes in the roof. I do not care. Let the foundation lean to one side. No worries. It has POTENTIAL! It just needs a little TLC! It’s actually better than these modern death traps they’re building today! It has character. It’s an older home, you can’t be surprised to find knob and tube wiring/an “asbestos” setting on the thermostat, and the tortured souls of Industrial Revolution orphans in it.
It just needs a little love! These things take work. It’ll be great. It has good bones, can’t you see? Scattered all over the living room floor?
Love
As we left an early 20th century beauty redolent with the scent of old carpet well-saturated in pet urine, and a gaping hole in the roof, GirlWonder turned to me with an expression best summed up as “GIVE HER TO ME I LOVE HER AND SHE’S BEAUTIFUL!” Yes, indeed this IS my child.
Haunted vibes? No worries. We don’t care if the poltergeist introduces himself during the open house. If the price is right in this housing market? Sold. Tell the ghosts she’s moving in! Can the ghosts hold a hammer? Fantastic. We’re gonna need them to help with the reno. Think of the money you’ll save because you don’t need AC with all of those drafty windows! Otherworldly roommates? Great. The ghosts can chip in on the mortgage.
As her house hunt has begun it’s been eye-opening to see how real estate listings have evolved since Mr. Wonderful and I perused them in the late 1900s. I almost miss the days when we got one blurry little black and white photo printed on newsprint in a monthly “Realty” guide. We would pick up the guide from a dispenser outside a drug store or strip mall. You had to hope the property was still available, wait for your realtor to make an appointment and drive out to get an idea of what you were really looking at. There was no Google street view. No 3D tour. No slideshow. You just had to rely on your imagination until you arrived for the viewing.
Now we have instant access to listings but I’m not sure it’s helping. I think it should be illegal to post such wildly edited photos that they lose all touch with reality. In my day there was an element of surprise at a showing because you didn’t know what to expect. Now it’s because the overly clarified, edited, fisheye lens, panoramic views and artistic photographs bear no resemblance to the actual property.
Some listings are so jarring that I literally gasp upon viewing. Oh how I wish Zillow allowed comments. I have so many questions.We saw one listing where the listing agent had Photoshopped an entire pristine blue swimming pool in place of the broken down cement swamp that was actually there. Another was listed as “great for a mini farm!” The house was literally cracking in half and the acreage was unusable because the majority of it was a steep incline. It also had mold in it. No extra charge! To be fair when we had to sign a “Hold Harmless Agreement” to enter — that was a clue.
Meanwhile, if we ever sell I’m adding in an ocean. Waterfront is worth more.
