Yesterday my good friend Johnson called me on the phone.
He said, “I’m running short on cash. Could you spare a little loan?”
My good friend always seemed to be a dollar short or two.
So, I’d put some money in his bank. It’s the least that I could do.
A loan to Johson meant you’d never see your cash again.
But I didn’t really mind to help a friend out now and then.
So I shaved, then grabbed an old toothbrush we used for cleaning boots.
And I scrubbed and polished leather. I’d impress those banker suits.
I opened Grandma’s bible. Safest place to keep my cash.
Took the five remaining Benjamins to empty out my stash.
My trusty Chevy found the pristine bank and parking lot.
And all too soon this country boy would find, “I don’t know squat.”
The lady at the counter welcomed me to their new bank.
But she got me all confused. She introduced herself as Hank.
She said her grandpa called her Hank. Each time it made her wince.
Grandpa loved to see her wince. Hank’s her nickname ever since.
I smiled and asked, “I’d like to make a deposit here today.”
She asked, “How much?” I said, “Five hundred green bills, if I may?”
Her sunny disposition changed. I guess it wouldn’t last.
She said, “We can’t accept your cash. A policy since passed.”
I wrinkled up my nose and said, “My cash ain’t good enough?”
She rolled her eyes then lowered her voice two octaves into gruff.
She said, “We’ll gladly take a money order from you sir.”
By then my head was spinnin’. All my thoughts were just a blur.
She said, “Are you a member?” Once again she seemed polite.
I joked, “My bank’s the bunkhouse in a mattress pulled down tight.”
Was this cashier even human, all puffed up and full of pride?
She said, “We cannot help you. Would you kindly step aside?”
I sped on down to my own bank, stopped at the coffee bean.
But then my Chevy’s appetite was low on gasoline.
So I robbed one of the Benjamins and filled my empty tank.
Then bought a money order and I headed back to Hank.
I’ve seen many changes in my life and most I do enjoy.
But now and then one agitates this poor old country boy.
