I drove to Sportsman’s Warehouse. Thought I’d buy a brand-new cap.
My mistake was walking through the doors. They had me in their trap.
I’m not talking ‘bout a mouse trap. Snares his nose and won’t let go.
I’m alluding to the shopping trance. Why couldn’t I say no?
I grabbed a cart and made a beeline to a hat filled crate.
But switched gears to a sign that read, “Fifty dollar bag rebate.”
Below the rebate sign were sleeping bags hung in a row.
One sleeping bag was rated down to 45 below.
The floor attendant tempted me. “It’s the best sale of the year!”
I had to have the 45 below with all my gear.
The bag was extra heavy. Totaled nearly twenty pounds.
But I stuffed it in my shopping cart. I had to make more rounds.
I was feeling so elated with my brand-new sleeping bag.
I wasn’t checking prices. That would surely raise a flag.
I pushed on past the hats and caps. Found a Levi coat to wear.
I didn’t need another but it’s good to have a spare.
I bought a pair of mittens that I doubt I’ll ever use.
I’ll save ‘em for my wife in case we take a winter cruise.
I purchased ammunition. That is when I heard the cue.
I had too many bullets for a single .22.
So, I bought another rifle. What the heck, it’s just one more.
Then I moved on with my frenzy, hadn’t covered all the floor.
Aha! My eyes beheld a sight designed for all to see.
A brand-new shiny wall tent that would soon belong to me.
I grabbed a wood stove for my tent to sleep warm through the night.
Then I realized my purchases were climbing out of sight.
We totaled up my plunder. I was surely caught off guard.
Two thousand fifty dollars, I said, “Put it on my card.”
I’d spent a ton of money with no permission from my wife.
Should I give my wife the rebate? Fifty might just save my life.
Although I’ve never learned to save, for sure a shopping sap.
But, this time I saved ten dollars ‘cuz I didn’t buy a cap.
