So, yes, it’s me again, back to say that I have next to no intention of making any sweeping “resolutions” to carry into the new year.
It’s not that I think I’m perfect — heaven knows I am not. It is not even that I think that I am perfectly delightful. I’m moderately delightful at best. No, the reason I’m not vowing to change is because I think we have to learn to embrace who we are and where we are. This doesn’t mean there isn’t room for improvement, just that we need to be reasonable. I like to keep expectations realistic.
For this year I think I’m going to try and be more aware of what makes me tick — and what doesn’t. I am a homebody. I am not an extrovert. I am going to get better at NOT overextending myself by doing things I don’t really enjoy just because the opportunity arises. My toxic trait is telling people I’m down for anything when in reality I mean not after 9 p.m., food should be involved and it also depends on how many other social obligations I have already endured, the parking situation and how tired I am. Knowing my limits actually makes me a BETTER friend. I like to be rested and ready for a good time. On the flip side, I also surround myself with friends who don’t mind coming over in their pajamas and agree that all gatherings end promptly at 8:30 p.m. I am an introverted extrovert I think. I can be “on” and quite full of life and outgoing personality for a time. Then, I need three to five business days to recharge and recover enough.
I think, in honor of a friend who often said “I wish you enough” that this will be the year of enough. Excess is fun but also exhausting/2025 is the year of less: less waste, less excess, less overwhelm, quality over quantity. This is true with relationships, time and belongings.
Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without. What if I lean into contentment? The things I sometimes complain about might be someone else’s dream come true. I’m trying to see the bright side when possible. Not everything has one, of course, but I’ve learned that a glimmer is the opposite of a trigger. A glimmer is a micro-moment of awe, something that makes you happy, feel hope, contentment or awe. Once you start looking for them and embracing them, you will see them everywhere. We can also create them. Tell the clerk their manicure is beautiful. Tell the stranger you love her outfit. Tell your colleagues you enjoy working with them, the parents you see out and about that their children are being so amazing, and so on. I’m going to try and make it a point to notice glimmers often and collect them daily.
We use the phrase “have to” like it is taking away from our lives or keeping us from doing what we “want” to do. When we say “I have to …” what we are saying to the world is that whatever has to be done does need my attention but I resent it because I should have something better to do. I’m going to take a moment to try and re-frame the mindset around those tasks that must be done. Rather than verbalizing “I have to …” I am going to try instead to say “I get to …” I get to clean up the kitchen because we have enjoyed a meal. I get to do laundry because we are out and about living our lives and have clothing to clean and the facilities to do so. I get to walk the dogs because their sweet little lives are lived with me. Sure it won’t work for everything. “I GET TO have a root canal!” may not catch one. Then again, it can be considered a blessing to be able to afford good dental care if you think about it.
My whole life people have asked me how I find interest — and a story — in “every little thing.”
My response remains as ever, “Why doesn’t everyone?” The whole point of living is to wring as much enjoyment and contentment out of it as you can. If I didn’t find so much joy in little stuff I wouldn’t enjoy life even half as much as I do. As we face yet another year with never-certain futures, we can’t let constant worry about what comes “next” ruin our ability to appreciate that we may, in fact, be right in the midst of what we once looked forward to.
