I pulled my truck inside the shed and kicked it out of gear.
Then gazing through the windshield, yelled, “What the heck do we have here?”
The fattest mouse sat on my wiper, plain as he could be.
His beady eyes looked straight ahead. I think he winked at me.
I flipped the wipers on. I knew I’d make the mouse afraid.
But instead of being scared, he did a flip right off the blade.
I gasped and hollered, “Out of here you hairy, little rat.”
I looked around and grumbled, “Where the heck is that darn cat?”
Then I realized we’ve never had a rodent chasing cat.
Or even a lazy feline who enjoys just getting fat.
So, it’s time to sharpen up my skills to catch the little rat.
But if I can’t catch the rodent, you can watch me eat my hat.
My Agriculture teacher told me, “Mice are plenty smart.
But a mousetrap with some cheddar is where you wanna start.”
The rodent scurried off, beneath the hood or who knows where.
I pulled the latch and raised the lid. That mouse was gone, I swear.
I thought my problem solved itself, then looked up on the dash.
I counted twenty-five mouse turds. I swept them in the trash.
From a mouse’s point of view, my Chevy truck is full of treats.
I had to stop the critter ‘fore he chewed holes in my seats.
I baited both the mousetraps with the sharpest cheddar cheese.
I placed ‘em on the truck floor so the mouse could sniff a tease.
The smell of cheddar cheese gave me a voracious appetite.
For dinner, we ate cheeseburgers, then turned in for the night.
At the morning time inspection, there were mouse turds on the mats.
The cheese had been untouched. Was he worried ‘bout saturated fats?
I took away the cheddar cheese and baited it with bread.
I hoped it wouldn’t be too long before the mouse was dead.
I almost left the woodshed when I heard the fateful snap.
Inside the pickup door there lay a fat mouse in my trap.
Well it seems a piece of cheddar isn’t what a mouse likes best.
Or maybe he was finicky. For sure, he’s one dead pest.
Did I teach the mouse a lesson? In this life there’s no free lunch.
But I guess he learned a little late. Let’s say, “He felt the crunch.”
