Falling back

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Dear daylight saving time,

It’s not you, it’s me. But mostly it’s you.

I would call this a break-up talk, but the truth is: I don’t want you to go. Our relationship is dysfunctional and I don’t really understand you, but I feel like we could grow old together if you would stay.

Fall is when daylight saving time stops and the clocks “fall back,” thus returning us to standard time. So technically I guess I’m annoyed at standard time?

This is how I understand it (loosely at best). Daylight saving time starts on the second Sunday in March and ends on the first Sunday in November. I looked that up on the internet because in all my years, I still don’t actually understand this so I’m going to assume this is somewhat close to the truth.

I didn’t used to think much about the time change. It was just something that happened that confused adults.

It was also more noticeable back in the day when a households clocks had to be changed by hand. In all honesty, many never did. I think the clock on the stove was right about half the year? Until a power outage. If that happened it might never be correct again.

As I’ve grown and had a family and pets of my own I see daylight saving time for what it is: a tool of the devil.

Time to go

Time used to be on my side. One moment I was 23 staying up late, eating pizza and dancing like no one is watching and still arising bright eyed and bushy tailed at 6 a.m. Suddenly I’m nearing 50, love broccoli, and going to bed at 8:30 p.m. because I’m tired and pulled something putting on my socks this morning.

Of course, it’s a standard joke that the hour we “fall back” this time of year was the hour I was planning to go to the gym, darn it! Spring forward and fall back being the sum total of my exercise program after all.

All kidding aside, I am a creature of habit. As are my dogs.

I don’t care what the clock says. Animals know dinnertime, walk time and bedtime. Have you ever tried to reason with a hungry dog?

“Look I know what your stomach says but trust me, it’s not dinnertime for another hour” holds little sway. Ditto the time for walks and bedtime.

I have spent a solid week with a small dog sighing dramatically at me because I don’t want to go to bed at 8:30 p.m. (the time formerly known as 9:30). She knows no difference.

Does anyone really know what daylight saving time is? Does anybody really care?

Daylight saving time was first mentioned by Benjamin Franklin (albeit possibly as a joke). Still, people thought it wasn’t the craziest idea they had ever heard of, and it was actually utilized as an energy conservation trick during World War I. It was proposed to allow more daylight evening hours thus cutting back on the amount of energy used in homes for lighting and radios I suppose?

Keep in mind that this was also an era when they thought cocaine in soda pop was a perfectly good idea, so consider the source.

It was reportedly adopted nationally in the 1960s. By then the cocaine was out of the soda but drugs were still pretty rampant so again, how much can we trust that they were making good choices?

Reliable

I need someone more consistent. Reliable. We can’t just go changing time all willy nilly.

Recently, the aptly named “Sunshine State” of Florida approved the Sunshine Protection Act, which seeks to permanently allow Florida to use daylight saving time year round. It makes sense in a state with “sunshine” right in their motto.

It allows natives and tourists alike more time to enjoy all the great state has to offer such as Disney, being eaten by alligators, and so on.

Next spring, If we must do this then why bury the lead in the wee hours of a Sunday morning? If we are going to move an hour ahead, why not 4 p.m. on a Friday afternoon?

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