BoyWonder was an 18-year-old Eagle Scout, had been employed for five years, had prevented a house fire AND was capable of surviving in the wild for a WEEK when he asked me how to address an envelope.
That was the moment I knew I had failed as a mother.
Ever since adulting became a verb (I voted against that by the way), we have heard ad nauseum how poorly most people are doing it.
High schools made local news when they held Adulting Classes for graduating seniors.
Adulting Day was hosted by community members with the sole purpose of teaching students the practical skills they’ll need in the real world, Fox-affiliated WBRC reports.
As someone who has been a teen, young adult, employer, landlord and parent, I have seen people who excel at practical skills — and too many to count who don’t.
Some skills are obvious
How to address an envelope. How to apply for a job. The importance of being clean, alert, smiling and making eye contact when asking for a job application. Be ready to impress someone.
How to sew on a simple button or a hem. If it takes more than that I’m probably just going to buy new clothes. I’m not saying it’s a good plan, I’m just saying that’s how I adult.
Other skills may not occur to us at first, but they are just as necessary. Have your social security number memorized, but do not give it out to everyone who asks.
Yes, that includes medical forms. Not everyone who asks deserves access to this number. Guard it with your life because in many ways, it is your life.
Know how to check oil and fluids in car. It is not necessary to know how to rebuild an engine, but helpful to know how to avoid needing that knowledge.
Know that diesel doesn’t go in every vehicle. Spoiler alert: Blinker Fluid is not an actual product.
Whether you rent, own or live at home, know how to fix basic things. How to flip on a breaker, light a pilot light, prepare for a power outage and what to do if you smell gas.
Very important are these two words: Toilet plunger. Own one. You won’t need one until you NEED one.
Save
Learn with your first paycheck that paying yourself first means not buying endless pizzas.
Learn the importance of paying bills before blowing money on fun. Not being homeless is ALWAYS a good time.
Learn the delicious anticipation of saving for something. Delayed gratification is often much sweeter. Learn to say proudly, “that expense isn’t a priority right now.
Many wealthy people are actually quite frugal. Don’t loan money you cannot afford to lose.
Learn how to cook one killer meal that you can use for occasions and a handful of healthy but inexpensive meals to keep you alive.
A diet of nothing but gas station burritos and fast food will cost you more than just money.
Learn how to sort things out after a car accident. If the driver who just hit you says you don’t need to bother with a police report, you probably do.
Have one outfit at the ready for interviews, weddings and funerals. In adulthood, all three can occur with very little notice.
Navy is always a good choice. No one is offended by navy.
Pets are tempting
Almost every young adult wants to declare their independence by adopting a pet. Pets can be a one to two-decade commitment if you are blessed.
Recognize that if you choose to have a pet, it costs money, time and opportunity. It WILL be more difficult to find rentals. Don’t be offended or surprised by this fact.
Put down your phone when someone is speaking to you. In fact, take time every single day to put down your phone, period. Please.
Manners matter
Please and thank you go a long way. You are never too busy — or too good — for either.
Learn to say I was wrong and mean it. Be respectful of other people, even if you disagree. Different is not wrong.
Learn how to work through a conflict or problem with someone else without calling your mother or losing your temper.
It is crucial to know how to speak kindly but firmly to people in order to have your voice heard.
It is equally important to know when to walk away when you really want to punch them instead.
In that vein, everything I just said is open for interpretation.
You are free to make your own choices. You are not free of the consequences of those choices.
Of final note — life is not fair. It is, however, still worth living with joy every single day.
