The mean mom’s guide to real life
After years of toil, struggle, and inner turmoil wondering what, if anything, I want to be when I grow up, I have discovered my one true calling: I am the Meanest Mom Ever! Crowned.
Selecting bath mats slips her up
You would think that a person who has managed, however inexplicably, to choose a mate, choose to parent two lovely albeit argumentative small humans, and choose to share with the world at large the most intimate details of her life (and those of numerous innocent bystanders), would have little trouble making a commitment to the little things in life.
Moving from to-do to ta-done!
Score! I just crossed something off my to-do list. I can put a black line straight through "consume entire package of M&M's before breakfast.
You are officially grown up
I understand now, with perfect clarity, why some 30-something women persist in sporting mini-skirts that are far too young for them (or their thighs) and men of the same age endlessly relive their teenage athletic exploits.
What it was like in the ancient old days
On this, the occasion of my 10,000th birthday, I would like to say ... oh, OK, I'm not really 10,000 years old.
Warning sign-ups of spring
It is almost spring and the first specks of bold, new colors are sprouting among us. No, not spring flowers silly.
A mug of high fat might not kill you
Look, I just don't know if I can stomach the path this nation is taking one more day. What kind of world do we live in when a down-on-his-luck panhandler has to say, "Pardon me, brother.
Don’t be too sure of ‘someday’
Nothing's wrong just as long as You know that someday I will. Someday, somehow I'm gonna make it all right But not right now.
Working the bugs out of family sick times
You really need to be in tip-top shape to come down with anything nowadays. The down-and-out workout.
The Cupid Wars set hearts afire
Don't you just hate it when worlds collide? My second-grader informed us, imperiously, that Cupid is "just a myth.
