Maybe baby, I’ll have you
It isn't my actual children that are causing me stress these days, but the "maybe baby" that haunts me.
Expect little and get way too much
Clearly, the problem is that I expect too much.
I expect, for example, that my cellular telephone might actually make telephone calls.
Dialing up the ‘good old days’
I am raising ingrates.
My children, like so many others, are ferried about in the automotive equivalent of a living room.
Green Acres Welcome Wagon at your service
I have recently received a fair amount of mail asking me if I have, and I quote, "always lived in the country?" What a silly question.
Our lives: Gone to the dogs
It's hard to know when, exactly, to proclaim an otherwise beautiful family experience a disaster, but that does seem to be the way these things go.
What’s in a name? Creative crime and the ‘Junior’ league
Recently, I have begun to branch out in my daily newspaper reading. Now that I have discovered the birth announcements, I am no longer confined to the police blotter to keep up with the myriad ways humans can commit crimes against the innocent.
Reluctantly resolute, maybe …
I could do the obvious joke about how my New Year's resolution is to quit procrastinating tomorrow.
Or I could circulate one of those "Top 10 New Year's resolutions" joke lists that clog up the Internet incessantly and get forwarded to you by everyone you even remotely know (with explicit instruction to forward to 10 friends immediately or you will have horrible luck and probably die).
Guerilla gifting is tough war to win
On the 13th day of Christmas my true love gave to me a completely unexpected gift and I had nothing in return.
New clothing line likely not in my future
Do you think the witness protection program offers a new wardrobe? More importantly, can I enroll before I have to appear in anything "dressier" than Santa print PJs for the holidays?
Not asking for much.
No spilled milk to cry over
How is it that in the advent of modern technology, the untold wonders borne of the industrial revolution, and the joy of living in an age that has (at last!) developed a disposable toilet bowl brush, some things remain pathetically unchanged?
Advanced.
