As we approach Valentine’s Day, I am once again reminded that I am, by dint of being married for more than a minute, supposed to know what the “secret” to a successful marriage might be. This is hysterical.
I have been married longer than I have not been married. I am a big fan of marriage. I mean I’m a big fan of mine. Mr. Wonderful is a gem. That does not mean everything is perfect.
Happily ever after does not always mean easily ever after. Even fairy tales take work. By this, I mean communication, trust, respect and effort. I believe one should save their best self — and kindness for those closest to you — not strangers. Love does NOT mean never having to say you’re sorry. It means saying sorry sincerely and then working hard to avoid that situation in the future.
On the other hand, if your “hard work” on a relationship means an endless cycle of fighting and making up, you might want to rethink that. That sounds exhausting. Then again, who am I to say? The truth is that everyone has their own ideal of a relationship. Nonetheless, some truths appear to be pretty universal.
In marriage, there are two conversations: the one you think you’re having and the one your husband hears. If repeating the same sentence multiple times over a number of days in a row only to have your spouse insist that you “never told him that” sounds like a good time, then being a wife might be right for you. In many cases if a wife starts a sentence with “when you get a chance” she means now. If not now, soon. Might as well get to work.
Seek
My husband will assure you that marriage is a great way to be pointedly reminded where things actually go. Apparently as a wife I have a homing signal to most of his personal items, including — but not limited to — items he left on a countertop or table more than six months ago. It’s an art.
On that note, I am sad to report that another day has gone by without discovering a hidden passage or secret room in my house, but hope springs eternal. There has to be a portal that would explain why he so often cannot find his belongings?
For my part, I remain certain that I’m only one DIY project away from being “done” working on our house. Spoiler alert: I am not.
In hopes of making me more self-sufficient, Mr. Wonderful has lovingly given me my very own tool box, drill set and even a nice assortment of tools. Then, he will have to endure watching me use a butter knife as a screwdriver. His ability to laugh at this is one of the many reasons I adore him.
Marriage also teaches you a lot about yourself. For instance, I’ve learned that I don’t need to keep the thermostat so high or low (depending on the season) and that fuel oil doesn’t grow on trees.
It’s funnier when we are using the woodburner to heat the house, and he absentmindedly says “firewood doesn’t grow on trees.” Doesn’t it though?
My need to set the A/C on “meat locker” while piling the bed with blankets or running the heat and a bedroom fan all winter long is just one of the many things he chooses to find charming about me. I am eternally grateful.
Meanwhile, I could absolutely set up a haunted house but it would only appeal to husbands and fathers. It would just be a normal house but all the lights are on. Every one of them. All of the doors are also left hanging open so he can indeed pay to heat/cool the great outdoors. At the end, there would be a little moral to the story. Something like, “Jesus was the light of the world, our house doesn’t have to be!” Tickets would sell out.
On the other hand, I am not one to seek out frightening and stressful situations. I don’t like horror movies. Why would I go see a scary movie when I can watch my husband using a metal spatula on my expensive enameled pan?
